June 7, 2012

  • Solitude.

    Living by myself is actually pretty nice, surprisingly. I suppose I’ve always been comfortable by myself.

    My next step is to hire a Portuguese maid and we will not understand each other but mean the same thing when we speak to each other in our respective languages.

    I rewatched one of my favorite movies the other day- It Happened One Night- probably one of the earliest screwball romantic comedies ever made (1934). I hadn’t seen it in years, but I had forgotten how well it stood up to time. As it’s so old, you can actually watch the whole thing on youtube (albeit in really poor quality). Anyway, I had forgotten Clark Gable’s monologue in response to “Have you ever been in love?”

    Youtube has been kinda screwy with the timing, but I think it starts at 1:11:25 with Claude Colbert asking “Have you ever been in love?” It’s towards the end of the movie, so spoiler alert. Well, as spoiler as a movie about 75 years old can be.

    In any case, I’m just updating this as a break from editing yet another wedding. Between photo obligations and a full time job, it’s literally working two jobs. I need a break to just do something creative. That gnawing is always there and I’ve got a list of personal projects that expands every day. Sometimes, I wonder what’s the point in trying to make anything, really? Does anyone even care? Am I isolating myself in my hobbies? The new life I’ve taken on I feel like has the potential for so much personal growth, like I’ll be able to produce something great one day. But doing things alone gets exhausting after all this time and I’ve taken a different path in life when I look at how all my friends are these days. I think I just need to hear someone say, “hey, you’re doing great” and give me a reassuring pat on the back.

    I suppose in the end, we’ve got nowhere to grow but up.